Thugs, dodgy barnets and goal-scorers.

Something a bit different today: a guest columnist. Here is Russ and his thoughts:

You may not realise it but these are the groups into which every single winner of the PFA Player of the Year Award can be easily placed. Some actually fall into two camps. Consider Kevin Keegan (winner in 1982) as a clear example. Okay, okay so it’s too easy naming players from the seventies and early eighties as evidence of this rule. But honestly go through the list and place every winner in a category. The great thing about this is that there will be absolutely no protestations from friends who do the same; it’s simply always, utterly, glaringly, obvious. I will give you a few, completely at random. Again be aware they may occupy two groups.

1. Cristiano Ronaldo (winner in 2007, and 2008). 2. Roy Keane (2000). 3. Peter Shilton (1978). 4. Alan Shearer (1995). 5. Thierry Henry (2003, 2004).6. John Terry (2005). 7. David Ginola (1999). 8. Norman Hunter (1974). 9. Ian Rush (1984)....

Your list above should read very similar to:
1. Dodgy Barnet and Goal Scorer, 2. Thug, 3. Dodgy Barnet, 4. Goal Scorer, 5. Goal Scorer, 6. Thug, 7. Dodgy Barnet, 8. Thug, 9. Goal Scorer...

Think I've cherry picked them? Try these bad boys on for size: Andy Gray (Thug and Goal Scorer, as delightfully evidenced by Everton’s second goal against Watford in the 1984 FA Cup Final; the elbow to Steve Sherwood still hurts the people of Hertfordshire, almost as much as their flagging Hedge Funds). Steven Gerrard (Thug and goal scorer, as evidenced when his request for “That song by Atomic Kitten” was rejected by a Liverpool DJ, and, by the way Steve, where has your forehead gone?). And Peter Reid (The Wolfman again sits in both camps) to name but a few extras easily categorised.

So this ‘fact’, as distinct from coincidence, got me thinking about the deserved winner of this year’s award. Now, it’s common knowledge, at least to members of the public, that footballers are not the brightest bunch. The inclusion of five Man Who? players on the six player short list seems to back this notion up. I still think the inclusion of Ryan Giggs (he of just 8 completed Premier League matches this season) occurred because everyone got together and had a chat about who their favourite players were when they were growing up. Someone also told me that Neville Southall and Chris Waddle were on this year’s original list before it was shortened.

Nevertheless if Giggs does win it, it will only stand to reinforce our aforementioned ‘fact’ I suppose (Dodgy Barnet).

So, I thought, if I believe their short-list to be pretty much nonsense, then who should win the gong this year? Obviously the man must be easily assimilated into at least one of the groupings to ensure our ‘fact’ remains. But, I’m sure you’d agree, we need to get this ‘fact’ a bit more attention amongst the football going public. Let’s face it, had it not been for this blog you would be none the wiser I’m almost certain of that. So who is it that can propel this ‘fact’ across the air waves and into the minds of football fans? Who is the man we need to win the Award to affirm our ‘fact’? To crystallize it? To cement it? Whose win will land on Newspaper desks and smack the editor of the tabloids right around the chops?

Well, by my reckoning there is one man that stands above all others. He is an impressive Goal Scorer (7 in the PL from midfield), a Thug (12 yellow cards and counting so far this season), and he has a really, really Dodgy Barnet (D-I-S-C-O.). We all know who he is. I shall not state the obvious. It’s just a shame Piers Morgan isn’t still at The Mirror.


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So there you go, let Russ know what you think. Pretty decent shout for Player of the Year, for me, given the dross that's been served up for most of this season. My choice is Mikael Silvestre - what a player he's been for us, English football and france this season.